Let Me Count the Ways
by Moon's Secret Dream
Summary: Kili is a new student at Middle Earth High. He quickly falls in love with Tauriel, the most popular girl in school. Unfortunately, she can't date unless her brother Thranduil does. With Bilbo's help, they search the school for a suitable date for the school's most undesirable bachelor. 10 Things I Hate About You in Hobbit form.
1. Chapter 1

**So as I mentioned, this is basically Things I Hate About You with Hobbit characters. It follows the storyline very closely so warning there. There are a few twists obviously and things taken out. There's not going to be any singing or flashing so sorry if you were expecting that.**

 **I really don't own anything ^-^  
Hope you like it!**

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Kili stumbled his way through the crowded hallway. He had just come from the principal's office where he got his schedule. A group of people ran into him, sending him off balance and into another person. Kili looked up to find a tall, darkly dressed boy glaring down at him.

"S-sorry" Kili spluttered.

The boy did nothing but glare at him before stalking down the hall.

Kili let out a sigh of relief. He had no doubt he just escaped a thorough beating.

"You're very lucky."

Kili turned to see a boy standing behind him. The boy was a few inches shorter than Kili with curly brown hair and a kind smile.

"I gathered that." Kili replied.

The boy smiled and held out his hand, "Bilbo Baggins"

Kili smiled and shook the offered hand, "Kili Dison"

"Oh, you're the new guy aren't you?"

Kili nodded, "I just got my schedule from the principal."

"Well, then allow me to be your guide."

"That would be greatly appreciated."

"But of course." Bilbo led Kili out into the courtyard.

"So who was that guy I ran into?" Kili asked.

"Bard Bowman. You want to stay away from him. Rumor has it he once killed a man with his _bare hands_. They couldn't pin it on him but he did spend a year in jail for setting a house on fire."

Kili gulped.

Bilbo nodded, "I have also heard that he eats stray cats and dogs."

"And he goes to our school!?"

"Which is why everyone stays away from him." Bilbo gave him a pointed look.

"Duly noted."

"Now, this is high school so you will find your regular clicks. Your cool kids, future drop-outs, nerds, and so on. Usual high school things, I'm sure you know all about it." Bilbo rambled on but Kili stopped listening. He was too busy watching the beautiful creature walking towards him. She was tall, probably a good head taller than him, with long auburn hair pulled back into an intricate braid. She was flawless in Kili's eyes. Dainty, as all women should be – except maybe his mother, nothing dainty about her. His knees grew weak when she walked by, her sweet perfume tickling his nose.

"Oh no, avert your eyes my young friend. She is way out of your league." Bilbo chuckled. "That's Tauriel Greenleaf. She's a sophomore. Not exactly the brightest lightbulb, but I guess if you like rich girls she would be alright."

"She's as bright as a star, beautiful in every way." Kili replied dreamily.

"Right" Bilbo replied incredulously. "Anyway, it doesn't even matter. It's a widely known fact that she and her brother aren't allowed to date."

"Really?"

"Incredibly uptight father. Rich folk" Bilbo snorted. "Probably thinks they're too good for us."

The bell rang shrilly, alerting everyone to start their day. "Come on, I'll show you to your first class."

/

Thranduil pulled up to Middle Earth High in his silver Audi. His best friend Thorin stood at the front entrance, waiting for him.

"Bout time you got here Princess." Thorin grumbled.

"If you hate waiting so much, why not go to class already? Or do you need something to complain about?" Thranduil asked.

Thorin rolled his eyes, "There are plenty of things to complain about. Your tardiness is the least of my worries."

"I am far from late. The first bell has yet to ring."

The two walk into the school and immediately people part ways and stop talking until the two were out of hearing range. They made it to their class without issue.

As the bell rang, the class filed into the room. Smaug, the school's most desirable boy, sauntered in and took his usual seat near the back. He was tall with black and red hair and bright amber eyes. His smile could send both men and women to their knees.

"Alright class, settle down." Their teacher said. "Now, I hope you all did the reading."

"I did" Smaug raised his hand. "I thought it was very thought provoking."

"Is that your opinion or just what Spark-Notes told you?" Thranduil asked.

The class snickered. The teacher rolled his eyes, "Thranduil please, not today."

Thranduil's eyes narrowed, "Are you implying something?"

"Someone's on their period" Smaug smirked.

Thorin made to get out of his seat but Thranduil held him down.

"Alright, alright everyone settle down. Thranduil, go to Principal Gandalf's office." The teacher said.

"What, why?"

"For disrupting the class now go." He waved him out, ignoring Thranduil's protests.

Thranduil growled and gathered his things. "If I'm already going then I might as well deserve it." He said. He turned to Smaug and slapped him in the face. Smaug fell out of his desk, a hand covering his red cheek.

"Bastard!" Smaug called out but Thranduil had already left the room.

/

Gandalf sat at his desk, the seventh Harry Potter book in front of him. Dobby had come to save the trio at Malfoy Manor, they were about to escape when he was interrupted by Thranduil. The teen walked in and gracefully lowered himself into the seat across from him.

"Ah Thranduil, I hear that you have been causing trouble again."

"I merely made a comment about a student, nothing more. I don't know why I am even here." Thranduil huffed.

Gandalf chuckled, "Well, slapping a student will get you a lot of things; mainly, a visit with me."

Thranduil rolled his eyes, "He deserved it. If I was going to come here I might as well do something to justify the visit."

Gandalf frowned, "You need to learn to get along with your peers. You are not above them."

"Most everyone at this school is a moron just waiting to pollute the world with their stupidity."

"Alright," Gandalf sighed, "I see there is no getting through to you. Off you go."

Thranduil smirked and stood up. "By the way, Dobby dies at the end of that chapter." With that, Thranduil exited the office leaving Gandalf gaping after him.

/

Kili met up with Bilbo once school got out. He looked around the parking lot for Tauriel but he couldn't see her.

"You're not looking for Tauriel are you?" Bilbo asked.

"And if I am?"

Bilbo sighed, "You don't have a chance with her. Even if she were allowed to date, she is _way_ out of your league."

Kili finally spotted Tauriel getting into a guy's car, driving off with a happy shriek. "Who was that?"

"Smaug. Most popular guy in school and every girl wants him. Even some guys." Bilbo provided.

Kili groaned, "How can I compete with someone who looks like that?"

"You can't" Bilbo replied helpfully. Kili glared at the smaller boy.

A honk interrupted them. They turned to see a silver Audi behind them and two boys glaring at them from the inside. The driver rolled his window down and leaned out, "Would you mind being stupid elsewhere? Get out of the way before I run you over."

The two scrambled out of the way, allowing the car to pass.

"Who was that?" Kili asked.

"Thranduil Greenleaf. Tauriel's older brother." Bilbo replied.

"That's her brother?"

Bilbo nodded, "Terrifying guy. Will beat up anyone who dares annoy him. Sent a boy to the hospital last year. Best to stay well clear of him."

"How is someone like that related to someone as perfect as Tauriel?"

Bilbo rolled his eyes, "You really need to move on my friend. Your chances of getting a date with her are the same as someone going out with Thranduil, pretty much impossible."

/

Thranduil pulled into the garage after dropping Thorin off at his house. His sister was already home if the blasting music was anything to go by. Thranduil grabbed the mail and walked inside only to have a blonde blur crash into his legs. He laughed and dropped his bag and the mail by the door, pulling the young boy into his arms he asked, "Hello Little Leaf. How are you?"

"Great!"

"I see Legolas has found you."

Thranduil turned to see his father, Oropher, walking into the room. "He should learn to leave you until you have put your things away." He looked pointedly at the mess left by the door.

Thranduil smiled and kissed his little brother's cheek messily. The little boy shrieked with laughter, batting Thranduil's face away. "What better welcome than my little brother?"

Oropher shook his head in fond exasperation and grabbed the pile of envelopes.

Tauriel chose that moment to come down. "Father, can I go out with a friend Friday night?"

Oropher looked suspicious, "What friend?"

"Oh, just a guy friend." She shrugged, "No one special"

"No" Oropher replied.

"But Father please. I am the only girl at school who has never been on a date before. It is ruining my reputation!" Tauriel whined.

"Reputation is not everything Tauriel. You shouldn't care about what other people think of you."

Tauriel huffed, sitting on the couch next to her brothers.

Oropher sorted through the mail, "What is this? Something from New York University?"

Thranduil quickly snatched the envelope and opened it. "Oh, I got in!" He cheered. "I can't believe it!"

"Thranduil? Why do you have an acceptance letter from NYU?" Oropher asked.

"Because I applied there." He replied.

"I thought we agreed that you would go to Stanford. You need a good business school if you want to run the company someday."

Thranduil rolled his eyes, "NYU is a perfectly good school for business. They also have a good Arts program and it is close enough to home so I don't have to live in a dorm."

Oropher frowned, "You should have told me Thranduil. This is something we have to talk about."

"Yes Thranduil, we shouldn't keep secrets from Father." Tauriel smirked.

Thranduil glared at his sister, "If that is how you feel, why don't you tell Father who drove you home today?"

Oropher's stern gaze turned to his daughter. "Tauriel?"

Tauriel's shoulders hunched in, her eyes on the floor, "It was just a guy being nice. Nothing happened."

"Does this _guy_ happen to be the same guy you want to go out with this Friday?"

"Maybe?"

"No"

"But Father!"

"No Tauriel. You know the rule, no dating until you graduate."

"Father that is so unfair" Tauriel whined.

"I will not have some teenage, hormone-induced boy soiling my little girl. Either of my children." He said.

Tauriel groaned, "I'm probably the only person in the entire school who isn't dating someone!"

Thranduil snorted.

"That's not true, your brother isn't dating anyone."

"Nor do I plan to. A bunch of pathetic and disgusting creatures in my opinion."

"You're psychotic!" Tauriel exclaimed.

"And you're a drama queen." Thranduil replied.

"Hey" Oropher said. The two calmed and looked back at him, "Okay, here is how we are going to solve this. The new rule is that Tauriel can date-"

"Yes!" She cheered.

"When Thranduil does." Oropher finished.

"WHAT!" She shrieked.

Oropher smiled, "That's the rule."

"But he's a cold-hearted freak, what if he never dates?"

"Then you shall never date." Oropher replied smugly.

"That's totally unfair!"

Oropher shrugged, "Not my problem. That is the new rule and I expect you to stick with it. Now I must be off, I have a meeting. Behave"

"Father!" Tauriel called, but the man was already out of the house.

Thranduil sighed and carried Legolas upstairs. Tauriel chased after him, "Can't you just get some loser to go out with you so I can go on _one_ date?

"Oh so the _Great Smaug_ can have his way with you? I think not"

"Ugh, you're a monster" She stomped out.

Thranduil shook his head and turned to the boy in his arms, "I hope you are smarter than your sister when you grow up."

Legolas giggled, "Can we play now?"

"Alright, let's go play." Thranduil smiled and walked to Legolas' play room.

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 **Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I thought about changing the language Kili teaches Tauriel, but the common foreign languages are German, Spanish, and French. I thought French fit better than the others. It's not really important ^-^**

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Bilbo found Kili hunched over a French textbook in the library a week after his first day of school.

"What are you doing?" Bilbo asked.

"I heard that Tauriel needed a French tutor." Kili replied.

"Do you even know French?"

"No, but that's why I'm reading this book. I will just read whatever we will cover before the lesson. It'll be easy." Kili smiled.

Bilbo sighed and shook his head. "Hopeless"

/

Kili met Tauriel after school that day to start their French lessons. "Uh, hi" Kili greeted.

"Could we make this quick? I have a hair appointment soon." Tauriel said.

"Uh right, um….well, I thought we could work on the basics. I say something to you and you repeat it back."

"Sounds boring." Tauriel said.

"Well uh" Kili stuttered, "Th-there is an alternative."

"There is?" Tauriel smiled.

Kili almost melted but quickly caught himself, "Yeah, we could…perhaps go somewhere French ya know? Let the atmosphere help us learn." He laughed nervously. "We could get together some time, like Saturday night perhaps?" He finished meekly.

"Aw, are you asking me out?" She cooed. "That's adorable, what did you say your name was?"

Kili blushed. "Uh, Kili"

"Well Kevin,"

"It's Kili"

"I'm sorry to say that my dad has a rule that I can date, but only when my brother does." She said.

"No way, that's great! There's this new movie that just came out and I was thinking-"

"Big problème Kyle" She interrupted and Kili didn't even bother correcting her. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my brother is a cold-hearted bastard."

Fili flinched.

"I don't think there is a person alive who would date him. And live to tell about it at least."

"Yeah, he is pretty intimidating." Kili replied softly. "Do you know why?"

"No idea" Tauriel shrugged. "He used to rule the school, everyone wanted to be with him. But then something changed and now everyone is afraid of him. Personally, I just think he's incapable of feeling love."

Kili could only gape.

"Like I said, cold-hearted bastard." Tauriel said.

"I-I'm sure there has to be some girl who would be willing to go out with him."

"He's gay Kenny." Tauriel deadpanned.

"Oh, okay. Well I'm sure there are some guys that would be willing to go out with him. Someone who likes a challenge." Kili said.

"Do you really think you could find someone insane enough to go out with my brother?" Tauriel asked.

"Yeah, sure why not?"

"You would really do that for me?" Tauriel asked. She laced her fingers in his and squeezed. Kili's heart raced and his blush returned.

"Y-yeah, of course."

"Oh thank you Chris, you're the best!" She squeezed his hand one last time and ran from the table.

Kili could only stare at his hand, his skin tingled where she touched it.

/

"You want to WHAT!" Bilbo exclaimed.

"Why is this so hard to understand?" Kili groaned.

"I don't know, maybe because what you are describing is both impossible and suicidal!" the boy hissed.

"All I ask is that you help me interview some guys. Please Bilbo, I really want a date with Tauriel." Kili begged.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't _believe_ I'm doing this." Bilbo sighed exasperatedly. "Alright, I know a few guys who might be interested. I will meet up with you after school."

"Thank you, you're a lifesaver!"

Bilbo shook his head as he watched the boy practically skip down the hallway.

/

"Okay, these were the best I could find." Bilbo led Fili to a secluded area of the school.

"I'm sure they'll be fine. How hard can it be to find a date for Thranduil?"

Bilbo didn't reply but looked very anxious.

They turned the corner and Kili stopped. Standing in a very tight space were four guys, nothing like what Kili had in mind. They looked like school rejects, and Kili had a feeling this was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

"Hello" He greeted the boys. "Would any of you be interested in going on a date with Thranduil Greenleaf?"

Two guys screamed and fled, one laughed his head off, and the last fainted. Things were not looking promising.

"Well that was a bust" Kili sighed once the boy who fainted woke up and ran away.

"This isn't going to be easy Kili. Thranduil is feared, I don't think there is anyone in this entire school who isn't at least a little afraid of him." Bilbo said.

"I think I got that." Kili huffed.

/

Three days passed and Kili still couldn't find someone who would date Thranduil, not for lack of trying though.

"I told you it was pointless, there is no one who will go out with him. No one that crazy." Bilbo said.

Kili sighed. They walked by the metal shop class where something caught his eye. "What about him?"

Bilbo peered into the classroom to find a guy fixing a pick-up truck. When he turned Bilbo quickly pulled Kili down the hall. "No, no way. Don't you remember who that is?"

"No"

"That was Bard Bowman, the guy who spent a year in prison. Ring a bell?"

"Oh, that guy. Well, that just means that he won't be intimidated by Thranduil. He's perfect."

"Okay Einstein, how do we get him to date Thranduil? He's not just going to do it because we ask him to."

"Why not?"

Bilbo gave him an _'are you stupid?'_ look. "He would kill us for even talking to him." He pointed out. "We need to give him some kind of incentive."

"We could pay him." Kili said.

"Do you have a few hundred dollars in your pocket? I sure don't" Bilbo asked.

Kili deflated, "Then how else are we supposed to get him to take Thranduil out?"

"Hmm, perhaps if we use someone else." Bilbo suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"We ask someone who has a lot of money and would be interested in getting Thranduil to date" Bilbo looked up to see Smaug chatting up a bunch of girls, "Or someone who is interested in getting Tauriel to date."

"What?"

"I'll be right back." Bilbo said and walked towards Smaug and his group. "Hello everyone" He greeted.

The group looked at him. "Excuse me, who are you Pipsqueak?"

"My name is Bilbo Baggins and I was hoping I could interest you in a proposition."

Smaug smirked, "What would a nerd like you have that would interest me?" His friends chuckled.

"A way to get a date with Tauriel Greenleaf." Bilbo replied.

The laughing stopped immediately, "There's no way. Tauriel Greenleaf isn't allowed to date, Father's rule."

"Ah, but I have it on good authority that the rule has changed. She is allowed to date if Thranduil starts dating."

Smaug looked interested, "I'm listening."

Bilbo smiled nervously, "Well, not just anyone will go out on a date with Thranduil, right? Because everyone is too afraid of him."

"Hurry it up maggot, I'm getting bored." Smaug grinned.

"Right, of course." He cleared his throat. "What you need, is to hire a guy who will go out with him. Someone who doesn't scare as easily."

"And who would you suggest?"

Bilbo turned to find Bard and his friend walk out of the building. "That guy"

Smaug followed his finger and frowned, "I heard he eats cats."

"Dogs too." Bilbo added. "Clearly, he's a perfect choice."

"An interesting proposition maggot. But I must ask, what are you getting out of this?"

"Me, oh I'm not getting anything out of it." Bilbo replied nervously. "Well, I guess it would be nice if I could walk down the halls unhindered."

Smaug smirked, "Of course, protection for the weak."

Bilbo shifted his weight, eyeing the boy warily.

"I'll think about your proposition."

"Oh, th-thank you." Bilbo nodded and quickly walked back to Kili.

"Well?" Kili asked.

"I think we have a deal." Bilbo replied.

"Awesome!" Kili cheered.

/

A few days later Smaug approaches Bard who is sitting on a bench overlooking the sports field, reading a book.

"Hey" Smaug tried to get the other boy's attention, but it didn't seem to work so he stood in front of him.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Bard hissed.

"I'm trying to talk to you."

"Do I know you?"

Smaug frowned and turned to the field, "You see that guy over there, the one with long blonde hair."

Bard followed Smaug's finger to see Thranduil waiting for his turn shooting.

"That's Thranduil Greenleaf, I want you to take him out." Smaug said.

Bard barked a laugh, "Whatever you say Hot stuff."

Smaug growled lowly, "Look, I can't go out with his sister until Thranduil starts dating. Their dad is insane-"

"This sounds really touching, but you're forgetting one little thing" Bard leaned in close, "It's really not my problem."

"Would you be willing to reconsider if I provided you with generous compensation?"

Bard smirked, "You're actually going to pay me to take out some guy?"

"Indeed"

Bard raised a curious eyebrow, "How much?"

"Twenty dollars"

Bard turned to find Thranduil standing in front of a target, the teacher was shouting at him so he aimed his arrow at the teacher and fired causing them to duck.

Smaug winced slightly, "Alright thirty"

"Hold on now. Let's say I take him to a movie. Buying tickets…twenty dollars? And he'll probably want popcorn so…forty dollars. Let's make it more just in case he wants candy." Bard grinned.

"I don't recall this being negotiable. You either take it or leave it grease monkey."

"Fifty dollars and we have a deal Romeo. You seem a little desperate to chicken out now."

Smaug was tense for a moment, but he ended up producing the money.

"Wonderful doing business with you" Bard smirked and left the field.

/

Thranduil had just left the locker room when Bard came up to him.

"Hey Elf, how are you this fine day?" Bard asked.

Thranduil gave him a strange look, "Tired and eager to get home."

"Aren't we all" Bard grinned. "So how 'bout I drive you home? Maybe get lost along the way?"

Thranduil's nose wrinkled in slight disgust, "I'll drive myself thank you."

"Then how about Saturday, pick you up at seven?"

"Oh of course" Thranduil replied sarcastically.

"Oh Elf, the places I can show you." Bard whispered, stepping into Thranduil's personal space.

"You mean like the local meat market? Or maybe some dark alley where you and your seedy friends hang out?" Thranduil replied snidely. "You don't even know my name metal head, why would I waste my time with the likes of you?"

"I know your name, I actually know a lot about you." Bard replied.

Thranduil scoffed, "Very doubtful." With that he left Bard and got into his car leaving the other boy standing on the sidewalk, watching Thranduil's car pull away.

Kili and Bilbo were hiding behind a wall further away, "Well, that's it. Failure" Kili cried out.

"Hey now, this isn't over yet. We still have time." Bilbo assured.

"You have an idea on how we get them to go on a date?" Kili asked.

"Yes, I do."

* * *

 **Hope you liked it!  
Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Another chapter down! Hope you all like it.**

* * *

Bilbo and Kili approached Bard the next day. He was in the Auto shop classroom working on a motorcycle.

"Hi" Kili greeted.

Bard stopped what he was doing and gave Kili a strange look. "Can I help you?"

Kili and Bilbo exchanged a look, "Actually, we're here to help you."

"That right?" Bard smirked.

Bilbo nodded, "We noticed you had some trouble getting with Thranduil. We are here to help you."

"I don't need your help" Bard replied.

"Are you sure? Because it didn't look like you got anywhere with him."

Bard growled, "Do you have a point?"

Kili and Bilbo backed up a few steps, "We just want to help you."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"Because I want a date with Tauriel and I can only do that if you start dating Thranduil."

"I've heard that before, that douche Smaug said the same thing."

"Yes, we needed you to date Thranduil and the only way you would do that is if you were paid. We can't pay you so we found someone who could." Bilbo explained.

Bard chuckled, "That is quite the scheme. There must be something really special about this girl if everyone wants her so badly. She can't be good in bed if she's never dated, so what?"

Kili glared at him, "How dare you disrespect her so. She is an angel and deserves respect!"

"You don't need to know our reasons for doing this" Bilbo intervened. "We offer you our help, will you accept it?"

Bard shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

"Well, you can start by going to the park this weekend. We heard that he takes his brother there every Saturday afternoon."

"Alright" Bard nodded.

"Okay, good. Well, I guess we'll see you." Bilbo dragged Kili, who was still glaring at Bard, out of the classroom.

/

"Come on Little Leaf, don't you want to go to the park?" Thranduil called out.

"Coming!" was the reply.

"Can't you just take a guy out once?" Tauriel asked. She had been harping on him to start dating for the entire day.

"For the last time Tauriel, I will not waste my time with some drug-induced moron just so that you can lose your virginity to Smaug."

Tauriel groaned, "Why is this my life!?"

Legolas came down the stairs with his archery equipment trailing behind him. "I'm here!"

"Yes, you are, do you have everything?" Thranduil smiled.

"Uh-huh" He held up his bag.

Thranduil took it and put it over his shoulder, "Then let's go." He grabbed his brother's hand and walked outside.

Oropher entered the room and turned to Tauriel who was sulking on the couch, "Why don't you go with your brother's to the park?"

"And hang out with losers? No thanks" She huffed and returned upstairs.

Oropher sighed and shook his head.

/

The park was large with several sports fields and even an archery field, which is why Thranduil brought Legolas here. Legolas had always liked to watch Thranduil practice and when he was old enough, begged Thranduil to teach him. With their Father's permission, they bought Legolas an amateur bow and some arrows. He has been learning for a year and a half and was doing very well.

The archery field was empty when they arrived. Thranduil placed his and Legolas' bags on the ground. "Alright Little Leaf, are you ready for today's lesson?"

Legolas nodded excitedly and removed his bow and arrows from their bag. He took his place in front of the target and waited for Thranduil.

"Alright, remember what I taught you. Relax and your aim will be true."

Legolas nodded and positioned his bow correctly, his arm pulling the string taunt. He released the arrow and it sailed across the field and into the seven point ring.

"I did it!" Legolas cheered.

"Very good Little Leaf." Thranduil smiled.

Legolas tried a few more times, not getting any closer to the center but still hitting the target. Thranduil was helping Legolas pack when Bard came up to them.

"Pretty good kid. How long have you been practicing?" Bard asked Legolas.

"A year and a half" Legolas beamed proudly.

"Very impressive" Bard smiled, "You know, I was your age too when I started archery."

"You're an archer?" Legolas gasped. Thranduil glared at Bard.

Bard smirked at Thranduil before turning his attention back to Legolas. "You bet I am. I'm a bit rusty, but I think I can hold my own."

"Then you wouldn't mind proving it?" Thranduil smirked and held out his bow.

"Oh please Mister. Please?" Legolas asked.

"Sure why not?" Bard shrugged. He took the bow and arrow from the blonde and took his place in front of the target. He breathed in and out deeply before firing an almost perfect shot.

"Wow, that's almost as good as Thran!" Legolas exclaimed. He ran to the target and retrieved the arrows and target.

Bard turned a smug smirk to Thranduil, "So how 'bout that date? There's still half a day left, and all of tomorrow."

"Just because you have a decent aim doesn't mean you have any more of a chance than you did yesterday." Thranduil hissed. "Legolas, let's go home." The little boy ran back and placed the arrows and target back. He held up his arms and Thranduil rolled his eyes. "You are getting too big to be carried Little Leaf."

Legolas merely smiled. Thranduil smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy, settling him on his hip. He walked to the car with Bard trailing after him.

"Are you going to follow me all the way to my car?" Thranduil looked over his shoulder.

"Probably" Bard grinned.

Thranduil groaned, "Are you always this persistent or are you just stupid?"

"Stupid is a bad word Thran" Legolas scolded.

Thranduil kissed his cheek, "I'm sorry Leaf, I know."

They reached the car and Thranduil placed Legolas in his booster seat. Once he was all buckled up he put the bags in the trunk. He was about to get in when a bright red Ferrari pulled up next to him, too close for him to get in. Smaug got out of the car and walked to the store next to the park.

"Excuse me, do you mind?" Thranduil called out.

"Not at all." Smaug replied, not even looking back.

Bard chuckled and Thranduil glared at him. He huffed and squeezed his way between the cars, dragging his key on his way to his door. The scratching noise caught Smaug's attention. "Hey Bastard, what are you doing?!" He shrieked.

"Getting into my car." Thranduil replied. He put his jacket over his door and slammed it into Smaug's car, leaving a large dent.

"You Bitch!"

"Whoops" Thranduil smirked and started his car, driving off.

Bard was laughing as Smaug cried over his car. He left once he got a hold of himself.

Thranduil looked at Legolas in the rearview mirror, "Don't ever do what I just did Leaf, it was not nice."

"He deserved it." Legolas replied.

Thranduil chuckled.

/

"Whoops!?" Oropher exclaimed.

Thranduil, who was drawing on his bed, sighed.

"My insurance doesn't cover _whoops_." Oropher said.

"I'm sure it does, it's not like it was that much damage." Thranduil replied.

Oropher sighed and sat on the bed, "You aren't acting out because of NYU are you?"

Thranduil glared at his father, "No, he parked too close to me on purpose so I made him pay for it."

"You aren't setting a good example for Legolas when you do things like that Thranduil."

"I am doing just fine with him." Thranduil growled, "More than any of _you_ are doing."

"Thranduil" Oropher scolded.

"No! I won't let you scold me for being a bad influence. I have been taking care of him just fine. You're the one who's doing a bad job. Ever since Mom died, you can't even look at him."

"Thranduil!" Oropher winced and deflated, "Please, let's keep her out of this."

Thranduil calmed, "Fine, then don't tell me what to do."

"I am your Father, it's in the job description."

"I can take care of myself Father." Thranduil rolled his eyes, "I don't need you hovering over me all the time. I am going to NYU so I can take care of Legolas. I will not leave him."

Oropher made to reply but his cell rang.

"You should get that, it's probably important." Thranduil said snidely.

"We will continue this later." Oropher sighed and left the room.

"Sure" Thranduil replied sarcastically.

Immediately after he left, Tauriel ran into his room, "Did you just dent Smaug's car?"

"Indeed I did, looks like you'll have to find another ride home." Thranduil replied evenly.

"You're a freak! Can't you be normal just once?"

"Where would the fun in that be?"

Tauriel gave a frustrated shriek and stomped out of the room.

Thranduil relaxed once she left, covering his eyes with his hand and breathing deeply.

"Thran?"

Thranduil looked to see Legolas standing nervously in the doorway.

"Hey Little Leaf" Thranduil smiled.

"I heard shouting" He squeezed the stuffed deer in his arms tightly to his chest.

"Nothing to worry about Leaf, they were just mad about the car."

"But he deserved it."

"That he did, but they didn't think so."

Legolas hopped onto the bed and situated himself so that he was lying on top of Thranduil. "Don't listen to them Thran, they're mean."

Thranduil smiled, "Thank you Little Leaf."

Legolas smiled and shifted so that his head lay on Thranduil chest. His plush squished between his arm and Thranduil's body.

Thranduil reached for a book on his nightstand and proceeded to read it out loud. Not long after, Legolas' body grew heavy and his breathing evened out. He ran his fingers through the silky blonde hair and looked down at his brother, "Love you Little Leaf." He whispered.

* * *

 **Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

Bard was putting his books back into his locker. When he closed it Smaug was there, glaring at him.

"When I pay you fifty dollars, I expect results." Smaug said.

"I'm working on it." Bard replied.

"Yeah right. Watching that bastard wreck my car doesn't count as a date." Smaug said. "If you don't get any, then _I_ don't get any, so I would start trying harder."

Bard grinned, "I would be willing to try harder, for another fifty."

"What?"

"Yeah, hundred dollars. Per week"

"Forget it"

"Then you can forget his sister." Bard smirked.

Smaug growled and took out his wallet, handing Bard another fifty. "You better hope you're as good as you seem to think you are."

Bard took the money with an overly bright smile.

/

Kili and Bilbo took a seat across from Bard at lunch. The boy looked up and groaned, "You two again. What do you want?"

"To help you, I thought we said that last time?" Bilbo answered, looking at Kili who nodded.

"Look, I went to the park, but it was just as much of a bust as the last attempt was."

"Well we're here to give you another chance." Kili took out a flier, "There is this party Friday night and we think it would be a perfect time to take Thranduil out."

Bard looked at the flier, "I'll think about it"

Kili and Bilbo nodded and left.

"Do you think it will work?" Kili asked.

"Of course, we'll just make some adjustments to the flier and circulate them. It will be easy." Bilbo replied.

After making some modifications like 'bring your own booze', Bilbo and Kili went to the top of each main stairwell and dropped the papers. Soon, everyone knew about it.

/

"So are you going to the big party on Friday?" Kili asked. He and Tauriel were walking around a park. Something to occupy their time instead of study French.

"I wish I could, but you know the rule…I can't unless my brother does."

"Yeah, I'm working on that. He's being a little difficult, not really going for the guy I picked out." Kili said. "Can you give me anything on the type of guy he likes?"

"He once said he wouldn't dare date a guy who didn't know what personal hygiene was."

"Okay, so they need to be clean. Anything else?"

"Well, I did find a picture of a Calvin Klein model stashed in his desk drawer." Tauriel shrugged.

"So…pretty guys?"

"I don't know. You're asking me to delve into my cold-hearted brother's mind?"

"Nothing else has worked. We need behind the scenes information."

Tauriel looked thoughtful, "Well, he won't be home for another few hours."

Kili smiled, "Then let's get started."

/

Kili pulled up to Tauriel's house and followed her inside. She led him upstairs and into Thranduil's room. It was large, a queen-size bed sat adjacent to the window seat and a desk across from that. The walls were painted a pale green with a mural of trees. "Wow" Kili stared. "That's some mural" He walked towards the large wall.

"My brother painted it. He did my younger brother's room as well." Tauriel said as she rifled through his desk. "Okay, here we go." She walked over to Kili and handed him a few things, "His schedule, some fashion show tickets, and his playlist."

While Tauriel continued to go through Thranduil's things, Kili wandered the room. "Who is this?"

Tauriel looked up to find Kili looking at a picture of two people. "That's my mom and Thranduil when he was younger." She smiled.

"You look a lot like her." Kili said.

"Yeah" She smiled sadly.

"Why isn't she in the picture with everyone?" Kili pointed to another picture further down the wall.

"She died when Legolas was born. She got sick and the pregnancy was too much for her."

"I'm so sorry" Kili replied.

"It's alright. It was years ago." Tauriel gave him a small smile.

"Were you close?"

"Very. She always knew how to cheer me up." She sighed, "I miss her so much. I can't even look at Legolas without thinking about her."

Kili nodded.

/

"Why are we here?" Bilbo asked. He and Kili stood outside a bar downtown.

"This is where Bard hangs out. We have information to give him." Kili replied. He steeled himself and walked inside.

"Why does it have to be a bar though?" Bilbo asked himself and followed Kili in.

Inside there were several pool tables and bar seats. The lighting was dim and the air was filled with smoke. Kili and Bilbo walked to the back where Bard was playing darts.

Bard leaned against a post when he saw the two approach, "So, any more news?"

"Some insight to a _very_ complicated guy." Kili answered.

"Sounds fun" Bard smirked.

"So uh first thing, Thranduil likes a man who is clean." Kili said.

"Clean?" Bard asked.

"Yeah like, when was the last time you showered? With soap." Bilbo asked.

Bard's brow furrowed, "Last night."

"Good, well when you take him out, make sure you're not covered in grease. Or smell like it." Kili said.

Bard scoffed, "So I have to become some floozy?"

"Just for now" Bilbo assured.

"And he also likes pretty boys so…" Kili trailed off.

Bard looked between them confusedly, straightening, "What, you saying I'm not pretty?"

Kili and Bilbo exchanged an anxious look, "No of course not!" Bilbo said.

"Very pretty" Kili nodded.

Bard settled himself again. "Anything else?"

"Oh, uh yeah." Kili pulled a list from his pocket. "Thranduil's likes: Vegetarian food, archery, Shakespeare, fashion, business, and classical music." Kili listed off. "Here is a list of magazines and books he owns." Kili handed the paper to him.

"So what? I'm supposed to buy him some rabbit food and either watch a bunch of people speaking an archaic language, stick-like women walking around in ridiculous clothing, or a group of old people playing lullabies."

"Have you ever been to the archery range downtown?" Bilbo asked after a short silence.

"Thranduil is going to be there tomorrow." Kili added.

"No" Bard shook his head "I can't go there."

"But he's going to be there. He made a reservation." Kili said.

"It won't be that bad. It's just an archery range." Bilbo smiled.

Bard sighed.

/

Bard walked into the archery range. "Hey Bard, how're you doing?" The man up front asked.

"Hey Percy, I'm doing fine." Bard replied.

"Haven't seen you in a while, thought you quit?" Percy said.

"I did. I thought I'd try it again." Bard motioned to the bag on his shoulder.

"Well, there's only one person in there now so have at it."

"Thanks Perc" Bard went inside the large field. Thranduil was standing at the furthest aisle, Bard watched as he fired arrow after arrow into the middle of the target.

"Pretty good" Bard commented.

Thranduil turned to him, brow raised at the bag, "Here to improve your skills amateur?"

Bard huffed a laugh, putting his bag down and getting his things out. "I may be a little rusty, but I still have some skill." He leered at Thranduil, "Though, I wouldn't object to some private tutoring."

Thranduil snorted, "In your dreams Bowman."

Bard grinned, "You have a great aim and yet you haven't hit the 'x'." Bard observed. "Not skilled enough?"

Thranduil smirked and without taking his eyes off of Bard, nocked an arrow, aimed at the target, and fired. The arrow hit perfectly in the center of the 'x'.

Bard held up his hands, "Alright, you are truly superior."

"Of course" Thranduil sent him a smug look.

Bard smirked back.

"If you're planning on asking me out again, you should just get it over with"

"I'm just here for some practice. Not everything is about you." Bard grabbed a target and went across the field to put it on.

Thranduil followed him, giving Bard confused glances. "You're not covered in your usual coat of grease." He retrieved his arrows and put in another target.

"I do shower" Bard replied. He pinned his target and made his trek back. "I'm not always covered in oil."

"Who would have thought?" was Thranduil's sarcastic reply.

They shot a few rounds, Bard getting better with each passing round.

"Your aim is improving" Thranduil said.

"Thank you. Yours is as true as ever. How long have you been an archer?"

"Since I was three. My father was an archer and his father before him."

"Well, you're probably the sexiest archer I have ever seen."

Thranduil huffed a laugh and Bard smiled. "Come to the party with me Friday."

Thranduil cocked his head, "You just never give up do you?" He started packing his things.

"Was that a yes?" Bard asked.

Thranduil shrugged, "No" He made his way towards the exit.

"Then was that a no?" Bard called after him.

"No!" He called back.

"I'll see at nine-thirty then!"

Thranduil waved and left the range.

Bard smiled at nothing and cleaned up his things.


	5. Chapter 5

**Party time!**

* * *

Tauriel snuck downstairs. She was wearing tight leather pants and a dark green crop top. Her hair was pulled back in a complicated braid. She almost made it to the front door but Legolas caught her. "Da, Tauriel is sneaking out!"

"Shh! Legolas shh!" Tauriel begged.

"Tauriel?" Oropher walked into the room.

Tauriel froze and slowly turned to face her father, "Hello Father."

Oropher looked at her clothing, "And just where do you think you're going?"

"To the party tonight?"

"And just where is this party?"

"Just at a friend's house. It's just a party Father." Tauriel said.

"A party with alcohol I am sure." Oropher frowned.

Thranduil came down the stairs, "Do you know about a party tonight?" Oropher asked.

Thranduil shook his head.

"People are expecting me to be there." Tauriel argued.

"If Thranduil isn't going then neither are you." Oropher replied.

"Why can't you be normal for once?" Tauriel glared at Thranduil.

"Define normal?" Thranduil sat Legolas on his lap and started playing with his hair.

"Going to this party is normal"

"That party is just an excuse for people to get drunk and rub up against each other like the animals they are." Thranduil replied.

"Can't you, for once, stop being the wretch you are and be my brother?" Tauriel spat. She sighed, "Please Thran?"

Thran looked up with wide eyes.

Tauriel pouted, "Please Thran?"

A few tense moments passed but Thranduil sighed, "Fine, I'll go for a little while."

"Yes!" Tauriel cheered. She turned to her father and smiled.

Oropher frowned, "I am not happy about this."

"You know the rule Father. If Thranduil goes, than I get to as well." Tauriel said.

Oropher sighed, "Fine, but there will be no drinking, no drugs, no kissing, and no tattoos or piercings of any kind.

Thranduil rolled his eyes and opened the door, he gasped when Bard stood there poised to knock. "What are you doing here?"

Bard smiled nervously, "I'm pretty sure I told you nine-thirty." He checked his watch, "It's nine-thirty"

Thranduil shook his head, "Whatever, but I'm driving." He walked out the door.

Bard handed him his keys with a smirk and followed him to Bard's car.

/

When Bard and Thranduil pulled up to the house, the party was already in full swing. They entered the crowded foyer and pushed their way upstairs. Thranduil continued to walk around, already bored. He came to a smoke filled room and took in his surroundings.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Ice Prince." Smaug smirked, "Looking beautiful as ever" He leered.

Thranduil made a show of looking bashful, "Oh why thank you. I am so glad I caught the attention of a moronic asshole" He turned to leave.

"Hey now wait a minute" Smaug cut him off, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Away"

"Is your sister here?" Smaug asked, his eyes bright.

"Stay away from my sister" Thranduil growled.

"Oh, I would be happy to." He stepped closer, "But you see, she comes to me not the other way around."

Thranduil pushed him away and left the room.

/

Tauriel entered the party and searched for Smaug. She found him in the living room, sipping a bear. He smiled when he saw her. "Well, don't you look delicious?"

Tauriel blushed. "Thank you Smaug"

Smaug grinned, "I hoped you would be here. It wouldn't have been a party without you."

Tauriel's blush deepened.

Smaug looked up to see Thranduil walk by, "Hey" Thranduil turned, "Look who found me?"

Tauriel smiled as Smaug led her away.

Thranduil grabbed her arm, "Wait, I need to talk to you"

"Excuse me, let go" She ripped her arm out of his grip.

"Listen to me Tauriel"

"No, I am enjoying my life right now. You should do the same." She followed Smaug outside.

/

Bard finally found Thranduil, drinking wine. "There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I've been here" Thranduil slurred and held up his wine glass.

"How many of those have you had?" Bard asked.

"I don't remember…ten?"

"Okay" Bard gently took the glass from him. "That's enough for you."

"You can't take that away, I need it."

"What for?"

"I'm living life, drinking at a party. Isn't that what you are supposed to do?"

"Maybe for some people, but I say 'live your life how you want to'."

"You'd be the only one then." Thranduil replied. He got up and shakily made his way into another room.

/

Kili looked around for Tauriel, but couldn't find her. "Do you think she's here?"

"She's here Kili, calm down." Bilbo assured.

"Why haven't I seen her yet?"

"There are a lot of people here. Easy to get lost in the crowd." Bilbo smiled and pointed behind him, "Try that way."

Kili turned to see Tauriel coming down the stairs.

Kili smiled and walked over, "Hey Tauriel."

"Oh, hey Kili" She said.

"You're, uh, looking really beautiful tonight." Kili said shyly.

"Yes she does, doesn't she?" Smaug came up behind Tauriel and put his arm around her. "But we all know that I look just as amazing." Tauriel gave a fake laugh. "Come on Babe, everyone's congregating by the fire pit." He led her away; and with only a glance back, Tauriel left with him.

Kili could only stare as they walked away. Bilbo came up and patted his arm, hoping to comfort him.

/

Tauriel was bored. Smaug walked around the house, talking about himself and his achievements. Currently, he was telling her about his time traveling the world. How he had met several famous people and got invited to amazing parties. Tauriel sighed and started looking around the room. Smaug didn't even care, he merely started talking to others when he no longer had her attention. She decided to go explore since Smaug was busy entertaining a group of drunks. After once circle of the house, she looked back to find Smaug still gesturing wildly, telling his audience the same stories. She sighed and turned around to find Kili wandering around. They met eyes and Tauriel opened her mouth to say something, but Kili shook his head and turned away. She sighed in frustration and left the party.

/

Bard found Thranduil drinking again. "Thran, why don't you let me have that?" He made to take the wine glass away but Thranduil dodged him.

"Get your own, this one's mine." He escaped into another room.

Before he could follow him, Smaug grabbed him. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Bard asked.

"Get Mr. Tight pants to let loose?" Smaug grinned.

Bard didn't reply because Thranduil dancing on a table caught his attention.

"Oh yeah, now that's what I'm talking about" Smaug shouted. He ran into the room and cheered with the crowd.

Bard rushed inside and could only stare as Thranduil moved his body along with the music.

"Thranduil!" Bard shouted, but the blonde couldn't hear him. A few more dance moves and Thranduil tripped, falling into Bard's arms. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Thranduil made to get up only to fall back again.

"No, you're not. Come on." Bard led Thranduil outside. "We are taking you home"

"But the party issssn't done yet" Thranduil slurred.

"For you it is." Bard replied. He got to the car and helped Thranduil inside.

"Hey Bard" Kili ran up to him. "Can I talk to you for a minute, it's really important."

Bard made sure Thranduil was okay and not going to fall over before turning to Kili.

"It's off. Everything" Kili said.

"What?" Bard asked.

Kili sighed and shook his head, "She didn't want to go out with me. The whole time she wanted Smaug."

"Kili do you like her?" Bard asked.

"Well, yeah"

"And is she worth all of the trouble you went through?"

Kili shrugged, "I thought she was."

"Look, it's either a yes or a no." He gripped Kili's shoulder, "Smaug is not even half the man you are and don't let anyone _, anyone_ , tell you otherwise. Alright?"

Kili nodded.

Bard smiled, "Alright. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Prince to get home." He winked and got in the car.

/

Bard stopped at the park near Thranduil's house. "Thiss doesn't look like hooome." Thranduil said.

"How very observant of you." Bard chuckled and got out of the car. He went to the passenger side and helped Thranduil out of the car. He half led-half dragged Thranduil to the swing set and sat him down on one. "I thought you could calm down a bit before I take you home."

"How very chivalrous of you."

Bard smiled, "Only to Princesses."

Thranduil smiled.

"So, what made you go on a drinking spree?" Bard asked.

"Tauriel said I should act normal for once. Enjoy life. And it helped me forget that Smaug was there."

"What do you have against Smaug?"

"I hate him"

Bard snorted, "Well, at least I know I'm not at the top of your hate-list."

"No, you are safely at number two."

Bard laughed.

Thranduil smiled, "You have a nice laugh"

Bard smiled back, warmth spreading through his chest.

Unfortunately, the moment was ruined a few seconds later when Thranduil bent over and threw up. Bard quickly pulled the blonde hair out of Thranduil's face and pat his back.

/

Bard pulled up to Thranduil's house and stopped the car. "I hope my Father is in bed. He would kill me if he finds out I'm drunk."

"You don't seem the type of person who cares about what others think of you." Bard said.

"You don't know anything about me."

"I'm starting to."

"I only care about my little brother. Unfortunately, my Father is trying to separate us. He thinks we're growing too attached." Thranduil frowned.

"Isn't that what families are supposed to be like? Attached."

"In most families. Ours however, doesn't work like that. I am the only one who takes care of Legolas. My father tries but fails, and Tauriel hasn't ever tried."

"Sounds like a pain in the ass" Bard said.

"Indeed. I always get reprimanded for not being who my Father wants me to be. I'm already going to run the family business, the least he can do is allow me to do it my way. He doesn't give those same pressures to Tauriel, she's allowed to be anything she wants to be."

"Well for what it's worth," Bard leaned in close, "I like you as you are."

Thranduil turned and gave Bard a look of surprise. He smiled, "You know, you're not as disgusting as I thought you were."

Bard smirked, "We all have our secrets"

Thranduil leaned in close and closed his eyes. Bard leaned back and turned away, "I don't think this is a good idea"

Thranduil opened his eyes and leaned back, his face a mix of confusion and hurt. His brow furrowed and tried to catch Bard's eye, when that didn't work he got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. Bard sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

* * *

 **Woo tension! Hope you all liked it and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Kili was sitting alone on a bench at school. School had ended so he was waiting for Bilbo to get out of Art Club. He was startled when Tauriel sat next to him.

"Hi Kili" She said.

"Hey" He muttered.

"Look, about the party Friday night-"

"Yeah, it was great. Did you have fun?"

"Not really" She replied softly.

Kili turned to face her, "When I asked you out, would you have actually gone with me?"

"Yes I would have." Tauriel nodded.

"No, you wouldn't have." Kili shook his head.

"Well no, not exactly"

"That's all you had to say" Kili said. "Have you always been this selfish?"

Tauriel looked at him with wide eyes, "I-I guess?"

Kili looked heart-broken, "You know, just because you look like an angel, doesn't mean you can treat people like dirt! I really liked you Tauriel, _really_ liked you. I defended you when people called you shallow and stupid, I helped you when you asked me to, I even learned French just so I could talk to you, and then you just blow me off for some d-"

Tauriel cut him off by grabbing his face and smashing their lips together. It was a chaste kiss, but still perfect in Kili's opinion. When they parted Tauriel gave him a shy smile and walked off.

It took a few moments for Kili's mind to process what had just happened. "YES!" He jumped up and started dancing (read: flailing) around the bench.

/

Thorin was putting his books away in his locker. Thranduil was sent to Gandalf's office again for punching some students that tried to get him to dance for them so he was alone.

"Uh, hi"

Thorin turned to see a small boy with curly hair standing next to him.

"Do I know you?"

"Oh, Bilbo Baggins" He held his hand out. Thorin just stared at it until Bilbo awkwardly lowered it. "Th-that's a nice picture" He pointed to the picture clipped to the inside of his locker. "Are they your family?"

"Yes, my brothers Balin and Dwalin. My cousins Gloin, Oin, Nori, Dori, and Ori. And some family friends Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur." Thorin said.

"Lovely. I have a cousin named Lobelia, she's a nightmare." He chuckled, "Always trying to get my parents to send her money."

Thorin chuckled, "My family is quite the handful as well. No privacy whatsoever. They all live in the neighborhood so they are around all the time."

"I understand completely." Bilbo nodded. "Can't get rid of them even if you wanted to. I once caught Lobelia trying to make off with our fine silverware once. She wasn't invited back for Christmas for many years."

Thorin grinned.

Bilbo returned it. "Well, uh…I did have a reason for coming over here."

"And that would be?" Thorin smirked.

"Well, I have this friend, and he really likes your friend."

"He likes Thranduil?" Thorin couldn't believe it. He had never heard of anyone liking Thranduil.

Bilbo nodded, "Me and another friend are trying to get them together. It was working for a little bit, but something happened and now Thranduil is mad at him."

Thorin snorted, "Your friend is an idiot then. Thranduil can hold a grudge just as well as I can. Good luck ever getting him to accept your friend again."

Bilbo sighed.

/

Bard and Kili were sitting on a bench, watching the different sports teams practice.

"What did you do to get him so angry?" Kili asked.

"Nothing. Besides, he was probably too drunk to remember anything from that night."

"Well he must remember something or he wouldn't be mad at you." Kili pointed out.

"Why do you even care? Didn't you call everything off?" Bard asked.

Kili smiled shyly, "Well, that was before she kissed me."

Bard grinned, "She kissed you? When?"

"Yesterday after school. I kind of ranted on her about how selfish she was being and she just kissed me."

Bard shook his head, "Women are strange."

"Don't I know it?" Kili replied.

Bilbo ran up to them and sat beside Bard, "Well I talked to him."

"And what did he say?" Kili asked.

"You can tell that low-life grease monkey that I never want to speak with him again." Bilbo said.

"Is that a direct quote?" Bard smiled self-deprecatingly.

"The first part is, the second part is a summary because I don't think those words should ever be repeated."

Bard sighed and ran his hands over his face.

"Hey now, there's still hope." Kili said. "He could just need a day to cool off or something."

Right then an arrow embedded itself on the bench seat between Bard's legs, a few inches from his crotch. The three looked up to see Thranduil glaring at Bard from where he stood with the Archery team.

"Better make that two" Bard said.

Bilbo and Kili nodded, looking between the arrow and Thranduil warily.

/

Thranduil and Thorin were walking through the school. Posters for the prom now covered every inch of every wall. Thranduil stopped in front of one and glared at it, "Ugh, who would even want to go to that cliché rite of passage?"

"I would" Thorin raised his hand, "But I don't have a date."

Thranduil gave Thorin a condescending look, "You cannot be serious."

"I am very serious."

"You want to dress to the nines only to be surrounded by a mass of sweaty people and listen to a sub-par band. Not to mention have the stereotype of putting out after the dance in some seedy motel room."

Thorin snorted, "Alright, we won't go. It's not like I own a tux anyway."

Thranduil rolled his eyes, "As usual you are looking at this from the wrong perspective. By not going we are not succumbing to the moronic social-standards of our age group."

"Of course, how silly of me." Thorin replied. "Remind me again why I hang out with you?"

"Because I'm the only one who puts up with your nonsense." Thranduil said.

"Yeah, and I'm the only one who puts up with yours." He chuckled.

/

Smaug walked up to Tauriel during her gym class. They were taking a break after running laps. "Hello Beautiful"

Tauriel turned to him and frowned, "Hello Smaug, is there something you wanted?"

Smaug smirked, "I want to talk to you about Prom."

"You know the rule, I can't go unless Thranduil does." Tauriel replied.

"He's going."

"He is? Since when?"

"I've got it covered." He smirked and sauntered off.

Smaug found Bard at his locker again. He pulled $200 from his pocket and held it in front of the other boy. "This should cover everything you need for Prom."

Bard looked at the money and frowned, "Look, I don't want to do this anymore."

"Woah, hold on now." Smaug produced another hundred. "Three hundred"

Bard looked at the money.

"Come on man, I know you don't want to pass this up."

Bard grit his teeth, "Fine" He took the money.

Smaug grinned and walked off.

/

Bard was walking downtown to the hardware store when he saw Thranduil inside a flower shop. He considered going in, but he couldn't bring himself to. He continued walking, trying to put the blonde out of his mind.

The next time Bard saw Thranduil was in an art supply store. He was looking for some acrylic paint and he just happened to see Thranduil across the aisle. He snuck into the next aisle and followed him until they reached the end. "Excuse me, could you help me find the acrylic paint? I'm looking for a new color for my bike."

"What are you doing here?" Thranduil asked.

"Looking for paint, like I just told you." Bard grinned.

Thranduil's lips quirked and he shook his head, "You are so…" He turned down another aisle

"Charming?" Bard followed him. "Humble?"

"Obnoxious?" Thranduil added. He stopped midway down the aisle and started examining the paint there.

Bard frowned, "You're not as mean as you think you are."

Thranduil turned to him, "And you are not as rebellious as you think you are."

Bard smirked, "Someone's got their knickers in a twist. I can help with that."

Thranduil glared at the boy, "Don't flatter yourself." He pushed a bottle into Bard's hands and left.

Bard looked down to see a bottle of midnight blue acrylic paint. Bard smiled, it would look great on his bike.

/

"You guys were right, he's still pissed at me." Bard said as he, Bilbo, and Kili got their lunches.

"Well, you did embarrass him. I don't think I would be too happy with you either." Kili said.

Bard glared at him and he looked down.

"Despite that" Bilbo started, sending Kili a pointed look, "What you need to do is even the score."

"How do you suppose I do that?" Bard asked.

"Embarrass yourself?" Kili suggested.

" _Or_ " Bilbo emphasized, "You could show him something that no one else has seen. The Bard underneath all that grease and leather."

Bard didn't say anything and sat at his table.

"Was it too mushy?" Bilbo asked.

Kili shrugged and went to find a seat.

* * *

 **Sorry no singing ^-^**


	7. Chapter 7

Bard thought about what Bilbo had said for the rest of the week. It was Saturday and Bard was walking through the park, hoping Thranduil would be there. He was in luck, he saw Thranduil sitting on a bench. The blonde would occasionally glance at his little brother before returning to whatever he was drawing. Bard turned to the little boy; he was sitting on a blanket with his back turned to Thranduil. There was a small pile of grass, flowers, and twigs around him that he was weaving together. The boy looked up and smiled, "Hi Mr. Bard."

Bard smiled at the boy, "You know my name?"

Legolas nodded, "Thran talks about you a lot. I'm Legolas"

"Hello Legolas" Bard greeted then turned a mischievous smirk towards the older blonde.

Thranduil was shocked to see Bard there and made to get up. "No Thran, you can't come over here. I'm not done yet!" Legolas shouted, he hunched over so his project was covered.

"Legolas-"

"You promised you wouldn't look" Legolas pouted.

Thranduil sighed and, with an icy glare for Bard, sat back down.

Legolas relaxed and turned back to his project.

"What are you making?" Bard asked.

"It's a secret" Legolas whispered.

Bard knelt down, "I'm good at keeping secrets" He whispered back.

Legolas smiled and motioned him closer. Bard sat down across from the boy so that Thranduil could see him. "I'm making a crown for Thran. He's been sad a lot so I'm going to cheer him up."

Bard smiled for the boy but inside his heart gave a guilty lurch. "That's very nice of you Legolas. Could you teach me? I've never made a crown before."

Legolas gasped, "Never?"

Bard shook his head.

"Oh yes! You can help me finish this." Legolas proceeded to teach Bard how to weave the grass and flowers together and then how to keep the twigs from falling out. Bard could feel Thranduil's eyes on him as they worked but the blonde never approached.

When they were done, Bard was impressed. He never thought a bunch of plants and twigs could become so beautiful. Bard helped Legolas make two more crowns, one for each of them.

"Okay Thran, you can come over now" Legolas called.

Thranduil packed his things and walked over to them, falling gracefully into a sitting position next to Legolas. Legolas held up the crown and smiled, "For you"

Thranduil smiled, "It is beautiful Little Leaf" He dipped his head so Legolas could place it on his head. "I taught you well"

Legolas grinned. He picked up another crown and put it on Bard's head, then himself. "Now we all match!"

"Indeed we do" Bard nodded.

"Thank you for helping Mr. Bard" Legolas said.

Bard smiled, "It's just Bard kid, no Mr. needed."

Legolas nodded.

"Why don't you go play Leaf? I'll be here" Thranduil suggested.

"Okay!" Legolas ran off.

Bard watched the child run off before turning to examine Thranduil. The blonde was happy, relaxed like he had never seen him. "The crown suits you"

Thranduil gave him a curious look.

"I didn't think you could get any more beautiful" He grinned, "I was wrong"

A light blush dusted Thranduil's cheeks and he started fiddling with the leftover flowers.

"Wow, you can blush"

Thranduil huffed, "It doesn't mean anything."

"Oh right." Bard smirked. "Thank you, by the way, for the paint. It's a perfect color for my bike."

"You're welcome"

An awkward silence passed between them. "So, how long are you going to be mad at me?" Bard asked.

"What makes you think I am mad at you?" Thranduil asked.

"Oh I don't know, the arrow near my groin. The constant glares. The arrow near my groin. Anything ringing a bell?"

Thranduil smirked at his hands.

"See" Bard pointed to Thranduil's face, "I knew you were doing it on purpose."

Thranduil laughed, "Well what did you expect. You embarrassed me!"

"Just because I didn't kiss you that night doesn't mean I don't ever want to. I just didn't want to do it while you were drunk."

"Oh you're such a gentleman." Thranduil said sarcastically. "How could anyone think that you are scary?"

"The same way people think that you are heartless."

Thranduil looked up in surprise.

Bard smiled, "You are far from heartless Thranduil. The way you are when with Legolas, you would have to be blind not to see how much you love him."

Thranduil smiled softly and looked towards the playground where Legolas was happily swinging. He turned back to Bard with a thoughtful look, "So you don't believe all of the rumors about me?"

"I would like some confirmation on some, but no." Bard smiled.

Thranduil smiled back, "Only if I get confirmation of my own."

Bard nodded, "You first then"

"Stray cats and dogs"

"Rumor" Bard said. "You joke about it once with your friends and then all of a sudden everyone thinks it's true. Your hair is fake"

Thranduil gave an offended huff, flipping his hair dramatically, "Rumor started by jealous girls."

Bard laughed loudly.

"Killing a man and not getting caught"

"Rumor. Putting a guy in the hospital"

"Truth"

Bard gave him an impressed smile.

"He deserved it. He was harassing me." Thranduil shrugged. "Spending a year in prison for setting a house on fire."

"Rumor"

"Then where were you?"

"In Wales. My parents got a divorce and my dad moved back to Wales, took me with him. Unfortunately he couldn't take care of me anymore so I moved back here to live with my mum."

"Why couldn't he take care of you?"

"He lost his job and had a hard time paying the bills. He thought it best if I came back to the States and live with my mum. We still talk, he's finally got a job so he's doing better."

"You seem close"

"Yeah, he's the best. I'm closer to him than to my mum that's for sure."

"Hmm" Thranduil smiled. "Tell me something else" He scooted closer to Bard.

"Like what?"

"Something true"

"I look ridiculous in this crown"

Thranduil snorted, "Something deep, something no one else knows."

"Alright" Bard smirked and shifted so that he was practically sitting in Thranduil's lap. He brought his lips to brush against Thranduil's cheeks, feeling his blush. "You are wholeheartedly in love with me" He whispered in his ear.

Thranduil gave a short laugh and leaned back, "You, are very self-assured. Has anyone told you that?"

"Every day actually. First thing I do when I look in the mirror." Bard said.

Thranduil chuckled.

"You want to know another truth?"

"Hmm"

Bard kissed him chastely on the lips, "You are going to the Prom with me" He whispered against the blonde's lips.

"That sounds more like a command" Thranduil smiled after another kiss.

"Come on Thran, go with me" Bard kissed him again. He couldn't believe how soft Thranduil's lips were. He was slowly getting addicted.

"No" Thranduil leaned back. "I will not go to the Prom."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. It's a stupid, clichéd tradition."

"Oh come on, people won't expect you to go. Surprise them."

Thranduil's brow furrowed, "Why are you pushing this? What's in it for you?"

Bard made his brow furrow in confusion, hoping he didn't let anything else through. "Nothing. Do I need a motive for wanting to spend time with you?"

"I don't know you tell me." Thranduil replied.

"The only thing I'm getting out of this is the pleasure of your company. Is that so hard to comprehend?" He snapped.

Thranduil flinched backed away, "I think you should leave Bard."

Bard blinked, "Wha- Thran"

"No Bard, I really think you should leave."

Bard sighed and stood up, "I'm sorry, I…" He shook his head and left.

Legolas ran over and fell on the blanket, "Where is Bard going?"

"He had to go Little Leaf" Thranduil said.

"I like him" Legolas said.

"That's nice" Thranduil said. "Why don't we go home? I think I've had enough fresh air today."

"Okay" Legolas helped fold up the blanket and pack their things.

When they got home, Thranduil made sure Legolas was situated before going to his room. He sat on his bed and sighed. He opened his sketchbook to the newest page and ran his fingers across the picture. It was of Bard and Legolas making the flower crowns. Thranduil sighed sadly as his finger traced Bard's face.

* * *

 **That's it for now ^-^**

 **Hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So Tauriel is going to look kind of bad in this chapter. She doesn't really mean anything, just things said in the heat of an argument. I basically took the original argument and exaggerated it a bit…don't kill me. Translations at the bottom.**

* * *

Kili and Tauriel were sitting in the library for their French lesson. Kili was reading from the book while Tauriel was filing her nails, looking frustrated and bored.

"Savez-vous où est mon crayon?" Kili asked.

"Non, peut-être qu'il est dans le cul" She answered sarcastically.

"Uh, that's not on this page" He fumbled through the book.

"Permettez-moi de vous poser une question Kili"

Kili looked up at his name.

Tauriel leaned forward, a frown marring her features, "Quand allez-vous me demander de sortir?" With that, she grabbed her bag and left in a huff.

"Wait, what does that mean?" Kili called after her.

/

Thorin opened his locker to get his Math book but was surprised to find a garment bag hanging inside. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and took it out. He carefully unzipped it and gasped. Inside was a suit. It looked black, but in the light it had a blue tint. It came with a black button-down shirt and a dark grey tie. A note was attached to the hanger: _'Get away from the family for a while and join me at the Prom? I'll meet you there. – Bilbo Baggins'_

Thorin smiled and carefully put the suit back into his locker.

/

Oropher was working in his office when someone knocked on the door. "Come in"

Tauriel entered, "Hello Father"

"Hello Tauriel, what can I do for you?" Oropher set down the contract he was reading.

"I want to discuss tomorrow night with you."

"What's tomorrow night?"

"It's the Prom"

Oropher frowned, "And does Thranduil have a date?"

Tauriel shifted, "Well, no"

"Then you can't go" Oropher replied.

"But Father, please."

"No Tauriel. Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do. You want to go to Prom with that boy Smaug correct?"

"Wha-? Father"

Oropher held up a hand, "If your brother isn't going then you are not going. That is the end of it."

"But Father, I am _dying_ to go. Thranduil isn't even interested so why am I being punished?"

"Do you even know what happens at Proms?"

"Yes Father, we will dance; we will kiss; we will come home. Stop being so dramatic." Tauriel said.

"Dramatic? Do you know how many friends I have who's daughters were violated at some type of dance?"

"And that is terrible, but that won't happen." Tauriel said.

"We are finished with this conversation Tauriel. You will not be going to the Prom." Oropher said and returned to his work.

Tauriel shrieked in frustration and stomped out of the room.

/

Tauriel had been holed up in her room for hours. When Thranduil got home he knocked on her door. "Come in" He opened the door to find her on her bed, watching TV.

"Listen Tauriel, I know" But she wasn't paying attention. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

"Excuse me!" Tauriel protested.

"I would like to talk to your face, not the back of your head." Thranduil replied.

She sighed dramatically and sat up. He took a spot at the foot of the bed. "I know you hate having to sit at home because of Dad's rule."

"Oh, like you care." Tauriel rolled her eyes.

"I do care, I just believe that you shouldn't do something just because everyone else is doing it."

"Like I have that luxury. Did you know that I am the only sophomore that was asked to Prom? And I can't go because you think it's stupid."

Thranduil frowned, "Why do you want to go to Prom so badly? Is it because Smaug asked you?"

"If you must know, yes. Why do you hate him so much? You don't even know him." Tauriel argued.

A small smirk appeared on Thranduil's face. "Smaug never told you we dated did he?"

"Right" Tauriel replied. She obviously didn't believe him.

Thranduil nodded, "freshman year, a little over a month."

"No way" Tauriel gasped.

"Indeed"

"Why? I didn't even know he was Bi"

"Well, he leans more towards females." Thranduil gestured vaguely.

"But you hate Smaug."

"I didn't used to. He was hot and he was charming." Thranduil shrugged, "I fell."

"So what happened?"

"We had sex"

Tauriel gaped, "Please tell me you're joking."

"Only once. After a month of dating he wanted to take it a step further. Everyone was doing it so, I thought it a good idea. After I told him I no longer wanted to have sex because I wasn't ready. He didn't take it too well."

"What do you mean?"

"He tried to convince me. Threw himself at me and tried to force me. I managed to fight him off and called Father to come get me. The next day he broke up with me. Since that day, I swore to myself never to do something because everyone else was doing it. And I haven't." Thranduil grimaced, "Well, except for when I drank myself sick at that party."

"How is it possible that I didn't know about this?" Tauriel asked.

"He didn't want to ruin his reputation with the ladies." He rolled his eyes.

Tauriel frowned, "Then why didn't you tell me?"

"At the time, you weren't old enough. And then I thought that you should decide for yourself what type of person he is."

"Then why did you help Father imprison me?" Tauriel stood up. "I'm not stupid Thranduil. I wouldn't repeat your mistakes."

"I was trying to protect you" Thranduil replied.

"By not letting me experience anything for myself? That is the worst way to protect someone." She argued.

"Not all experiences are good! Look what happened to me, do you really want Smaug to do the same to you?"

"He's different now." Tauriel argued. "I can make my own choices, it's my life. But no, you and Father had to keep me caged in this house just because of a mistake _you_ made."

"That _I_ made? I'm sorry, what part of him forcing me to have sex with him is _my_ fault?" Thranduil spat.

Tauriel huffed, "That's not what I meant"

"Oh really?" Thranduil crossed his arms and gave her an expectant look. "Then please, enlighten me."

"I may not be as smart as you Thranduil, but I am far from stupid. You should have trusted me. Trusted me to live my life how I want to." She said. "Instead, you and Father make decisions behind my back, trying to protect me from something that will never happen."

"You don't know that" Thranduil pressed.

Tauriel opened her door and stood aside. "Neither do you. I think you've done enough damage, you can leave now."

Thranduil's mouth hung open in shock. He slowly rose and walked out of her room. Once he was out, Tauriel slammed the door and went back to watching TV on her bed.

/

Thranduil was in his room, drawing when Legolas burst in. "I heard the door slam" He jumped onto the bed and straddled Thranduil's waist.

"Tauriel is just mad" Thranduil assured.

Legolas frowned, "You're sad again."

"Why do you say that?"

"Your smile is funny. You don't glow anymore."

Thranduil smiled, "I am happy Leaf." He set his sketchbook aside and gathered his brother in his arms. "Especially now that you're here."

Legolas giggled when Thranduil kissed his forehead. He turned to Thranduil's sketchbook and looked through it. "Oh!" He found the picture of himself and Bard at the park. "It's Bard!"

Thranduil looked at the picture, "Indeed it is."

"I like Bard, do you?"

"He's tolerable. Why do you like him?"

"He makes you happy." Legolas replied.

Thranduil's brow furrowed, "Really?"

Legolas nodded, "He made you laugh. Only I can do that"

Thranduil smiled.

"Are you going to see him again?"

"Perhaps"

"I think you should. He's nice."

"Yeah, he is." Thranduil looked back at the picture and smiled.

/

After a tense dinner, Thranduil retreated to his room. He went to his closet and pulled out a dark grey suit with a black pattern on the blazer. The lapels were a deep rust color as was the tie. He pulled out a simple black dress shirt and matching dress shoes. He set his Prom ticket on his dresser so that he wouldn't forget it.

* * *

 **For Thranduil's outfit, think of his silver and orange robes he wears in the Hobbit.  
Translations: Translated through a translator app on my phone so if any of these are wrong tell me.  
Savez-vous où est mon crayon? – Do you know where my pencil is?  
Non, peut-être que dans le cul – No, maybe up your ass  
Permettez-moi de vous poser une question Kili – Let me ask you a question Kili.  
Quand allez-vous me demander de sortir? – When are you going to ask me out?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Second to last chapter! It's Prom!**

* * *

Oropher was watching TV in the living room. He was relaxing with a glass of wine. Thranduil came down the stairs wearing his suit, he stopped just outside the door and called out to his Father. "I'm going to the Prom"

"Right Thranduil" Oropher replied sarcastically, but looked up when he heard the door close. He got up just as Tauriel came down the stairs. She was wearing a floor length gown. It was an emerald green, chiffon dress with a crystal belt. Her hair was done up in several delicate braids while the majority was left to fall down her back. "What is that?"

"A Prom dress" Tauriel smiled.

"Yes, so it is." Oropher frowned.

The doorbell rang and Oropher stiffened. Tauriel opened the door to see a boy Oropher was unfamiliar with.

"Hi Kili" Tauriel smiled shyly.

"Hi Tauriel." Kili waved. He held out a corsage of mini red roses. "This is for you"

Tauriel smiled and held out her wrist.

Kili carefully put it on and motioned to his jacket lapel, "Now we match"

Tauriel nodded.

"You look great by the way" Kili blurted out. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Like always."

Tauriel smiled again.

"I'm sorry for ruining the moment, but I would very much like an explanation." Oropher scowled at the nervous young man in front of him.

"Father, this is Kili. He's the one who asked me to the Prom. Thranduil just left so, according to the rule, I am allowed to go as well."

Oropher's eyes narrowed, "And how do I know I can trust this boy with you?"

Kili's eyes widened, "Don't worry Sir, I will be the perfect gentleman. I will have her home safe and sound after the dance."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you" Oropher replied.

Kili swallowed nervously.

"Okay let's go" Tauriel quickly grabbed Kili's hand and dragged him out of the house before her Father could object.

"You better take care of her boy, I know people in very high places." Oropher called after them. He closed the door with a sigh and returned to the living room where Legolas was now sitting on the couch. "Don't ever grow up Legolas"

"Why not?" Legolas asked.

"Because I don't think I will be able to handle it."

Legolas shrugged and returned his attention to the cartoons he had changed the TV to.

/

Thranduil entered the ballroom where the Prom was being held. He stopped at the door and did a last check of his outfit, making sure nothing was out of place. He gasped when a boutonniere appeared in front of him.

"You look gorgeous." Bard whispered into his ear. The boy turned him around and placed the white lily on his lapel. He had his own purple one on his.

Thranduil examined Bard's outfit. It was a simple black suit with a deep blue shirt. Simple, yet fitting. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"Why thank you" Bard gave a short bow. "Though I pale in comparison to your beauty."

Thranduil blushed.

"Are you ready?" Bard held out his arm.

Thranduil smiled, "I am" He took the offered arm and was led into the room.

Bard led him to the food table and poured Thranduil a glass of punch. "Bard, I am terribly sorry I questioned your motives."

"You're forgiven" Bard smiled.

"Thank you"

Bard motioned to the dance floor, "You want to dance?"

Thranduil studied the group of people, "Why not?" He set his glass down and followed Bard out.

/

Smaug pulled up to the Greenleaf house. He knocked on the door and smiled charmingly when Oropher opened it.

"Hello Mr. Greenleaf, my name is Smaug and I'm here to pick up Tauriel."

Oropher's face hardened, "Get off my property before I call the authorities." He hissed.

Smaug gaped, "Excuse me?"

"Leave boy, before I harm that pretty little face of yours."

Smaug quickly retreated to his car. Oropher watched him until the car disappeared from sight.

/

Thranduil and Bard moved through the crowd of dancers to find an empty space. He saw Tauriel dancing with Kili. He waved and she smiled at him before returning to her dance partner. He was also surprised when Thorin pushed his way through the crowd, he seemed to be looking for someone.

"Have you seen him?" Thorin asked.

"Who? And where did you get that outfit?" Thranduil asked.

"Bilbo gave it to me. Do you like it?"

Thranduil raised a brow, "It suits you very well. And who is Bilbo?"

"He's a boy I talked to once. He gave me this suit and a note telling me to meet him here."

"Oh Thorin, please tell me you're joking." Thranduil sighed.

Thorin ignored him and continued to look around. Bard caught Bilbo standing on the stage with the band, looking nervously around the room. Bard turned Thorin and pointed to the stage.

Thorin and Bilbo locked eyes and smiled. With a parting wave to the band, Bilbo jumped off the stage and made his way through the crowd, Thorin meeting him halfway. "Bilbo"

"Thorin" Bilbo nodded. "How is your family?"

"Just as annoying as always. And yours?"

"Perfectly happy since Lobelia is not in town." Bilbo smirked.

Thorin smiled and offered his hand.

Bilbo took it and blushed when Thorin kissed it. "Would you honor me with this dance?"

"I would love to."

/

As a new song started, Bard gathered Thranduil in his arms and started slow dancing.

"A little slow for such an upbeat song don't you think?" Thranduil said.

Bard smiled, "I thought you didn't like doing what everyone else was?"

Thranduil hummed and relaxed into Bard's embrace.

/

Tauriel was in the bathroom, making sure her dress and makeup were still perfect. A girl she knew from class walked in and stood beside her. "What are you doing here?"

The girl smirked, "You didn't think you were the only sophomore at the Prom did you?" She turned started fixing her makeup, "Smaug just picked me up. It surprised me, I thought he was taking you."

"I'm here with someone else. You can have him, I don't want him." Tauriel replied.

She giggled, "It's so cute that you think you ever had him in the first place. Smaug only liked you for one reason."

"And that would be?"

She smirked, "He had a bet going that he could get you in bed by tonight."

Tauriel's mouth dropped.

The girl laughed, "Did you really think a man like Smaug would go for an innocent virgin like you? I don't think so."

Tauriel steeled herself and walked out of the bathroom, head held high.

/

Bard was spinning Thranduil around. The blonde laughing with each turn. "You are insane" Thranduil laughed as he struggled to follow Bard's movements.

"But you like me like that." Bard spun him out and brought him back in. "Admit it."

Thranduil looked thoughtful, "I'm going to need some more persuasion."

Bard grinned and spun him around again. "Happy to oblige" He dipped him low and kissed him deeply. "How's that?"

"Getting there" Thranduil hummed in content.

Bard straightened them out and started dancing again, but Smaug grabbed him and dragged him backwards.

"Hey, what's Tauriel doing here with that pipsqueak loser?"

Bard huffed.

"I didn't pay you to take Thranduil out so some little wannabe could come in and land Tauriel."

Bard turned wide eyes to Thranduil who had heard everything.

"Nothing in it for you? How foolish of me." Thranduil hissed. He turned and stalked off.

Bard chased after him, ignoring Smaug's protests.

Bilbo had seen this and walked over to Kili who was snacking at the food table. "We have a problem" Bilbo said.

"What's that?"

"I believe that Smaug knows who took Tauriel to the Prom tonight." Bilbo pointed to the dark haired teen seething in the middle of the dance floor with his friends.

Kili sighed and started to walk over, but Bilbo caught him. "Let me try"

Bilbo approached Smaug, "Hey Smaug" He didn't get further than that because Smaug pushed him to the ground.

"You" He pointed at Kili.

Kili glared at Smaug and went to help Bilbo up.

"You messed with the wrong guy Short Stuff." Smaug said. "Now, you're going to pay. You and that Bitch"

Kili stiffened, "That's enough you douche. No one calls her derogatory names alright?"

Smaug chuckled and punched Kili in the face, knocking the boy to the floor.

Smaug's friends jeered, laughing and pointing as Smaug grinned in triumph. "Is that all you got maggot?"

Someone clearing their throat caught his attention. Smaug turned to find Tauriel with her arms crossed and an ice cold glare pointed at him.

"Got something to say Bitch?"

"Indeed I do" She brought her arm back and punched him in the nose.

"You Bitch! This face is worth a lot of money!"

"That's for making my date bleed." She punched him again, then kicked him in the crotch, "That's for hurting my brother" and then she roundhouse kicked him in the face, sending him to the floor, "And that is for me!"

Smaug curled into the fetal position, moaning in pain.

Tauriel moved around him and helped Kili stand while Thorin helped Bilbo. "Are you okay?" She checked his nose which was lightly bleeding.

"Yeah, just a scratch" He winked. "That was pretty hot, what you just did."

Tauriel smiled and kissed him. Kili smiled into the kiss and brought his arms around her.

/

"Thranduil wait!" Bard chased after the blonde.

Thranduil whirled around and glared at Bard, "You were paid to take me out? And by Smaug no less. The one person I hate more than _anything_ else! I should have known this was a set up." He hurried down the stairs.

"Thranduil please, allow me to explain."

"Explain what?" Thranduil spat. "That everything you said to me was a lie? That I am not even worthy of someone's true affections?"

"No, of course not!" Bard grabbed his arm. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh really what was it like? Some cash to take me out and a big bonus for sleeping with me? Or even better, just take me on a date so that people could have a chance at my sister."

Bard could only stare in shock.

"So that's it then." He smiled self-deprecatingly, "He paid you to take me out so that he could go out with Tauriel. Of course." Thranduil glared at Bard and wrenched his arm free.

"No Thranduil please wait. It wasn't about the money!"

Thranduil gave him a disbelieving look.

"Yes at first it was about the money. But then I spent time with you, I got to know you. I started caring for you, the money no longer means anything. Just you!"

"I don't know what to believe anymore." Thranduil's eyes were misty and his jaw tense.

"No Thran" Bard tried to grab him but Thranduil dodged and fled the building.

"Damn" Bard punched the wall. He turned and slid down it, curling in on himself.

* * *

 **There ya go! Some drama happens ^-^**

 **Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Last chapter!**

* * *

A week had passed and Thranduil returned to his icy self. The only time he smiled was around Legolas, and even then they weren't as bright as usual.

He was in his room doing homework when Tauriel entered. She carefully sat on his bed, waiting for him to acknowledge her.

"Yes Tauriel?"

"Kili is taking me on a harbor cruise, you should come with us. Get out of the house for a bit." She suggested.

"I do get out of the house. Every Saturday when I take Legolas to the park." Thranduil replied.

"More than just that Thran. Hang out with people your own age."

"I'd rather not if it's all the same to you."

Tauriel sighed.

"I don't know if this will mean anything, but I'm sorry"

Thranduil turned to her.

"You were right about Smaug. Another girl told me he bet with his friends he would get me in bed by Prom. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and for what he did to you."

"It's fine. Now you know what he's like."

Tauriel frowned, "It was still horrible of me. I did punch him for you. And kicked him in the crotch" She sent him a small smile, "He'll probably have a broken nose."

Thranduil chuckled slightly.

After a short silence, Tauriel continued, "I also wanted to thank you. For going to Prom, it really meant a lot to me. I just wish it ended better for you."

"You're welcome…and so do I."

Tauriel waited to see if he would continue, but when he didn't, she left the room.

She went downstairs where Kili was waiting for her.

"Is your brother okay?" Kili asked.

"No" She replied and walked out the door. Kili glanced at the stairs before following her out.

/

The next time Kili went to the Tauriel's house, it wasn't for her. Oropher opened the door and gave Kili a confused look, "Tauriel isn't here Mr. Dison."

"Yeah I know. I was wondering if Thranduil was home."

Oropher raised a brow, "He's in the backyard." He opened the door wider to allow the boy through.

"Thank you Mr. Greenleaf." Kili found Thranduil lounging on the porch swing. He was drawing something his sketchbook. Kili took a seat in a lawn chair and cleared his throat.

Thranduil looked up, "You're Tauriel's new boyfriend right?"

"Kili"

"Right." Thranduil nodded. "You do know that Tauriel isn't here."

"Yes, I came here to talk to you actually."

Thranduil sat up and raised a curious brow.

"It's about Bard"

Thranduil's expression hardened. "I don't want to talk about that asshole."

"I think you should hear me out. Let me explain some things."

Thranduil crossed his legs and gave the boy an expectant expression.

Kili cleared his throat nervously, "Well, when I first came to Middle Earth High I fell in love with Tauriel. Bilbo told me that she wasn't allowed to date. So I started pretending to tutor her in French to get close to her. She told me that she could start dating when you did so Bilbo and I started looking for a guy who would be brave enough to go out with you." He flinched when he saw Thranduil's glare. "We looked at a few guys, but they were all a bust. I saw Bard and I thought he was perfect. Unfortunately, he wouldn't do what we wanted just because we asked him to, so we decided to have Smaug pay him in the pretense of getting a date with Tauriel. When Bard's first few attempts at getting your attention failed, we started asking Tauriel for help. She provided some things you liked and we gave them to Bard."

"So it's true" Thranduil said.

Kili cocked his head.

"I was just a means to an end. You wanted a date with Tauriel and I was in the way."

"No!" Kili denied, "Well, maybe" He winced. "Even if it started out that way, I can tell you that Bard really cares for you. He was really upset when you started ignoring him."

"More like he was upset about the money he was losing." Thranduil scoffed.

"How can you not see that he cares about you?!" Kili jumped up from the chair. "He's been as heartbroken as you about this and you're being too selfish to see that! I know what we did to you was wrong and I am really sorry about that, but he really does like you." Kili was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his nerves.

"Have you finished your rant?" Thranduil asked calmly.

Kili gawked at the blonde, "Unbelievable." He shook his head and left the porch.

As soon as he was gone, Thranduil deflated. He curled up on the swing and cried.

An hour passed and Thranduil was still curled on the swing. His eyes were red and his cheeks tearstained. Oropher came out and sat on the swing, "Are you alright?" He carded his fingers through his son's hair.

"Does it look like I am alright?" Thranduil hissed.

Oropher's lip twitched into a half smile, "Not really, but I had to ask."

Thranduil sniffed wetly. He wiped the tears away and curled himself into a tighter ball.

"I'll take a wild guess and say the Prom wasn't a big hit."

"It was at first." Thranduil sighed, "It was perfect. And then I found out my date only went with me because _Smaug_ paid him to."

Orophe's body tensed, "Did either of them hurt you?"

Thranduil shook his head.

Oropher relaxed and continued playing with Thranduil's hair.

"Shall I find Smaug and beat him to a pulp?"

Thranduil smirked, "No, Tauriel already did that."

"Tauriel did?"

Thranduil nodded.

"And what about your date? Shall I beat him instead?"

Thranduil frowned, "No, I just want to forget he exists."

Oropher sighed. "You know, Fathers don't like to admit when their children are capable of running their own lives. Especially when they are better at it then we are."

Thranduil looked at him curiously.

Oropher smiled sadly, "When your mother died, it broke me. I lost the love of my life and I didn't care about anything else. All I could see was an emptiness where she used to be and I couldn't get passed it." He turned back to Thranduil, "You however, were strong enough to move on. You did what I couldn't, you raised Legolas and Tauriel. And I am sorry that you had to do that when it was my job. You grew up too fast and by the time I realized it, it was too late to change anything.  
You may look like me Thranduil, but inside you are all your mother. You have her strength, her heart. I've been pushing you to go to Stanford not just because it is my Alma Mater but so you can live your own life. I know you want to go to NYU so that you can stay and take care of Legolas, but you shouldn't have to do that. I am the father and it is my job to take care of my children. I've done a pretty lousy job if what happened to you is anything to go by, but I would like to make it up to you. Don't let obligation hold you back Thranduil."

"I'm not leaving Legolas. I refuse to abandon him. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him and I wasn't there." Thranduil said.

"Then how about a compromise?"

"What kind of compromise?"

"You will go to Columbia instead of NYU. You will either live in the dorms or an apartment near campus. This way, you are far enough away from home to live your life, but still close enough to come back and visit."

"You've really thought about this haven't you?"

"I have. I won't let you throw your life away Thranduil. I wasn't able to save the rest of your childhood but I can save what is left of your young adulthood. So do we have a deal?"

Thranduil smiled, "Deal"

"Good, because I've already sent them a check and it would have been incredibly inconvenient if you didn't agree."

Thranduil chuckled, "Were you going through my mail? I didn't even open the other college letters. I only cared about NYU."

"Yes I noticed that. You did get accepted to Stanford, just so you know."

Thranduil huffed, "I am not going to Stanford Father."

Oropher shrugged, "Columbia is just as good."

Thranduil smiled and hugged his father, "Thank you"

Oropher hugged back, squeezing the other blonde, "You're welcome"

/

Thranduil was sitting on a blanket in the park. Legolas was playing on the jungle gym while Thranduil watched. Someone's throat cleared and Thranduil looked up to see Bard.

"Hi" The boy nodded in greeting.

"Hello" Thranduil replied. "Is there a reason for you being here?"

"I came to apologize" Bard said and sat down on the edge of the blanket.

Thranduil refused to look at him, "Apologize for what?"

"For hurting you"

Thranduil scoffed, "I think we both saw that coming."

"Thran, please believe me when I say that I am so sorry" Bard said. "I never meant to hurt you." His voice cracked slightly.

Thranduil looked at Bard and was reminded of what Kili had said to him. The boy in front of him was not the same one he had met before. Bard looked broken, his eyes dim and hair a mess. His clothes were plain and unkempt. He turned his eyes away and fisted his hands in the blanket.

"Please say something" Bard pleaded.

A tense moment passed, a tear fell down Thranduil's cheek and he looked at Bard with cold eyes, "I hate you"

Bard froze.

"I hate how you got under my skin, how you broke down my walls. I hate your persistence and how annoying you are. I hate that you made friends with Legolas to the point where he asks after you. I hate that you smell like motor oil and the way you smile. I hate it when you make me laugh and feel more alive than I have felt in a long time." Tears ran down Thranduil's cheeks, but he never looked away from Bard, whose cheeks were just as wet. "But most of all, I hate the fact that all of these things are what I love most about you."

Bard gasped, "Thran"

Thranduil nodded, his lips curling into a small smile.

Bard's eyes brightened and his own smile appeared on his face. He sprang forward and locked their lips. It wasn't perfect, salty with their tears and slightly awkward because of their wide smiles. "Thank you, thank you" Bard whispered against Thranduil's lips. "I am so sorry, I don't deserve you" He peppered kisses across Thranduil's face.

Thranduil pushed away, "You are forgiven" He smiled.

Bard grinned and pulled the other boy onto his lap. They kissed slowly and passionately.

Thranduil pulled back and gave Bard a stern glare, "But if you ever do something like that again I will kill you, bring you back and let my father kill you, I w-"

"Yes, yes of course" Bard mumbled and brought the blonde's lips back to his. He tugged lightly on the blonde locks eliciting a soft moan from Thranduil.

"Eww Thran!"

The two separated to see Legolas staring at them, nose curled in disgust.

"Go on and play Leaf, I'm a little busy." Thranduil waved the boy off.

"Gross!" Legolas exclaimed and ran off when Thranduil resumed their kissing.

Bard chuckled lightly, "We've probably scared him."

"Oh well" Thranduil he kissed him again. "I love you"

"I love you" Bard replied and deepened the kiss.

* * *

 **Well, that's it, a nice fluffy ending ;)  
A little choppy in some places, but I hope everyone liked it!  
Review please!**


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